Where are you, my little needle?

Not a song about drugs, as we so often assume, but one about finding your true love. Your needle in a haystack. Sometimes even Skiba has a romantic side, and I've never loved Goddamnit! more than I do right now. I should maybe feel depressed that a re-release of a CD has the ability to work wonders on my psyche, yet it does. My favourite album of all time, by the band that make my life worthwhile and have never truly let me down. A DVD bonus disc with everything I could ever need. Obsessive, it's true, but I feel close enough to them to love them, yet far enough away to never get hurt. Maybe that's the attitude I should take to those around me as well.

I visited the family like a dutiful daughter/granddaughter/niece/cousin. It was relaxing, in a somehow claustrophobic way. I gossiped with Jemma and got excited about Good Charlotte, I ate chocolate and I finally got the meat and potato pie I've been craving for weeks. Sometimes I really am entirely too Northern.

I came home, booked trains for my upcoming week of fun, discussed MAs and made plans for a covert meeting with an enemy of my best friend. Tomorrow should be an interesting day at least.

A phone call from a good friend this morning made me smile, even if we only talked about a course we both take and a boy we both know who I did a silly thing with. Well, a marginally silly thing. I certainly did worse things last week, but I doubt I'll be telling the good friend about that. I'm looking forward to going back to London with a new lease of life, working hard for a week and partying my heart out with my second favourite band next week. The pub on Wednesday seems ever more likely, as the good friend and I have unfinished business to attend to in the form of...forms.

A few days at home and I feel completely changed. I can start over once again, ignore the past to a certain degree and approach new situations with positivity, albeit in the form of emotional distance and a large amount of cynicism. I was never an optimist, and I don't plan to begin now, but the best way to avoid being hurt is to hide behind a mask. He knows that, and now so do I.